This is just an awkward moment when you can't even vent out your anger inside. What's happening around you makes your life a mess but then you have to gather all your strength to put things back where they belong. It is just hard to make things right and do what people will like. Sometimes I thought do I really have to please them or just do whatever that pleases me? But the trend in this world is not only to think of yourself but what will the others will think of you too. Well, at the end of the day those people are the ones who will help you when you are in need. So better to choose the hard way than lose everything for nothing because you know for the fact that it isn't going anywhere. Sometimes it feels good to be a fool for awhile, but only for awhile.....

Be grateful for everything, just enjoy every moment for none of it will happen the same way again.... Never regret anything in your life because it happened for a reason....Learn to forget so you can move on otherwise it will hunt you forever.... Let go and free yourself....

Green Day - 21 Guns (Official Video)

how to end

It's been awhile since she made up her mind to put all things behind her. But, as time goes by, it seems she cannot take him out of her mind. There were still times when she find herself wondering about him. She knew him for only two weeks and yet she seems so into him even for a short time. Still, whenever she remembers the considerations he gave her she will just shake off her head and tell herself that she should forget. It was not that easy to do but yet she had to do it. She doesn't have any choice at all. Besides, it is really impossible, they differ in many ways so much. She can never cope with his intelligence. She is just an average person with shallow personality while he seems to know everything and he likes a girl who amazes him with intelligence. One of his friends called him genius. One day, when destiny permits her to meet him unexpectedly, she'll be more than happy to smile for him. But she prefers to keep whatever feelings she have for him. It is better to keep everything left unsaid than regret it later.

The winner takes it all

I don't wanna talk
About the things we've gone through
Though it's hurting me
Now it's history
I've played all my cards
And that's what you've done too
Nothing more to say
No more ace to play

The winner takes it all
The loser standing small
Beside the victory
That's her destiny

I was in your arms
Thinking I belonged there
I figured it made sense
Building me a fence
Building me a home
Thinking I'd be strong there
But I was a fool
Playing by the rules

The gods may throw a dice
Their minds as cold as ice
And someone way down here
Loses someone dear
The winner takes it all
The loser has to fall
It's simple and it's plain
Why should I complain.

But tell me does she kiss
Like I used to kiss you?
Does it feel the same
When she calls your name?
Somewhere deep inside
You must know I miss you
But what can I say
Rules must be obeyed

The judges will decide
The likes of me abide
Spectators of the show
Always staying low
The game is on again
A lover or a friend
A big thing or a small
The winner takes it all

I don't wanna talk
If it makes you feel sad
And I understand
You've come to shake my hand
I apologize
If it makes you feel bad
Seeing me so tense
No self-confidence
But you see
The winner takes it all
The winner takes it all...

family day

We just had our family day today. I was awake for 24 hours and my head was spinning but I had to bear it for my son. Anyways, I had fun watching him on stage. There was also a short talk about parenting for parents. I hope that I can apply those tips in raising my son.

wake up

After so much excitements and day dreaming, she came to her senses now. She is trying to set her mind and put all things behind her. It's not that it is not worth thinking but she thinks that it is the right thing to do. If she'll go on burying herself from what she feels it will surely affect her work. Anyways, she's been always in this situation wherein she's the one who was being left out. She always thought it was her but eventually the truth will come out and it wasn't her instead it was another person. The reason is that, she is fond of assuming and her assumptions always put her in the midst of pain. This time is different though, she has the control over her feelings. She knows now how to manage things as they come. She's too old to dwell so much with petty things. It excites her at first but when it is getting deeper she knows how to come out of the water. She has more important things to look after rather than concentrate with her personal feelings. As what she always says, she can sacrifice her own happiness for her family. She can't compete with the young ones, being at her age and a single mom, they are more likely to be attractive to him than her. She just can't understand herself how she thinks that he would like someone like her. It'll come to pass, she knows that and she can control her mind not to think of him anymore. It's been like this all her life and she's tired of being trap in this kind of situation. She just wants to be happy and she knows that it is up to her to make her life happy.